Too Far Gone
by pimpleface
Summary: Sequel to ICS&CC:. Wishful thinking. Patience shrinking. Bliss is far away. [3 NEW CHAPTERS UP]
1. CHAPTER ONE

**CHAPTER ONE - The Gopher State**

"Chemistry... History..." I mumbled aloud to myself, pushing back the textbooks lined up neatly in my locker. "Math." I grabbed _Fundamentals of Calculus_ from the shelf and carried it on my arm, along with the three spiral notebooks and binder I was already carrying. I slammed the metal door shut, fumbled with the lock and rushed off to Room 219, thankfully managing to get there before the bell rang.

It was third period: calculus with Mr. Hunter. Always ever so punctual, Becca was already there and had saved me a seat next to her.

"It's only the first week of school and I'm already stressed out," I groaned, ducking my head as I took off my messenger bag. I sat down and let out a deep sigh as I sank into the seat. "You'd think they'd let us chill." Becca raised an eyebrow. "Well, at least for a _while _at first!"

"Wishful thinking, my friend," she said dejectedly. "But yeah, tell me about it. I have a geography essay on North American urban systems due on Monday _and_ on top of that, Ralph Waldo Emerson poetry to analyze for English." She made a face and despite the situation, I couldn't help but laugh.

"Is this seat taken?" a quiet voice asked. We both turned and a girl we'd never seen before was pointing to the seat behind me. She had wavy brown hair and was dressed in a cute pink skirt with a matching tank top, along with _the_ cutest pair of flats I had ever seen.

"Nope. I don't think so," Becca replied, smiling.

I turned fully in my seat to face her as she sat down and I gushed about her shoes. She blushed, muttering a shy thanks and just as I was about to introduce myself, a flustered Mr. Hunter walked into the classroom, apologizing for his lateness. He whipped out his black marker and immediately started scribbling on the white board.

Remembering Hunter's notorious rule and his zero policy for "disruptive talking" in class, I gave her a half smile instead and turned back around to face the impending doom of Derivatives and Integrations.

- -

"Well that was fun, " I said sarcastically, draping the strap of my bag over my shoulder as I stood up from my seat.

"I think _thrilling_ is a much better word to describe it." I turned to face the now not-so-shy brunette and grinned. "I'm Amber," she said, sticking her hand out. I shook it and happily introduced myself and Becca.

We walked out of class together and joined the masses in the hallway. We followed the flow of the crowd to the cafeteria.

"Really now," I said seriously. "Where _did_ you get those awesome shoes?" Amber laughed.

"From only the finest of course," she said with mock haughtiness and a twinkle in her eye. "A chic little boutique.... in _Minnesota_." Becca and I burst out laughing and not being able to keep a straight face anymore, Amber giggled.

"So much for Paris and Milan," Becca chuckled, catching her breath. "Is that where you're from?" We turned the corner and walked into the noisy cafeteria.

"Uh huh. The good old Gopher State. Just got here two days ago."

"How are you liking it?" I asked, joining the line at the counter. I took a tray from the stack and set it down.

"It's okay so far," she said contemplatively. "It's just weird how we don't even have all our boxes unpacked yet and I'm already here at school. It's just happening so fast, you know?"

"Can't say I do," I sheepishly admitted. "I've lived in Stoneybrook my whole life." I took a turkey sandwich and a Snapple kiwi-strawberry drink as we passed the displays. We paid at the cash register and walked through the side doors, deciding to sit outside to make the best out of the good weather that was bound to leave us soon enough.

"Well Amber, you might _miss_ Minnesota," Becca said, taking a seat across from me around the round table. "But at least you have _new_ friends here." She smiled sincerely.

"Cheers to that," Amber laughed, raising her can of Pepsi. I clinked my juice bottle with her can and grinned, but it slowly drained from my face as my eyes scanned the outside Quad and rested on a lone figure sitting at a table.

Even through the crowd, I noticed him.

...The world could be crumbling down around me and I would still notice him.

He was hunched over a binder and textbook, his eyebrows furrowed in quiet frustration He looked up distractedly and our eyes locked. The moment passed and he clenched his jaw and looked away. I swallowed a lump in my throat and my eyes brimmed with tears. The hurt was still there. As far as I knew, it wasn't going to go anywhere.

But I blinked the tears away, plastering a smile on my face.

"So..... do they take orders at that boutique in Minnesota?"


	2. CHAPTER TWO

_A/N: don't worry, i don't plan to write out comments to comments people have left me every time i update. it's just been a while since i've been back at this and i love hearing from my "regulars." hahah. you guys are awesome. :)_

_redhed311: my first review! yaaaay! thanks for checking this out!_

_Pure Imagination aka Bewilderment aka (who else have you been again??): wooohoo! you're here! i've always looked forward to getting your comments on ICS&CC.. they always made me laugh cuz you're so darn hyper all the time. hyper's good in my books.:) awesome to hear that you're as excited about this as i am. :)_

_onlyme1: oh sweetie, you don't gots to worry about any mary sues in this story. ;) i hope that's not giving away too much, but this new amber character will be an interesting one indeed. ;) i've had her whole demeanour planned out in my head for a while now. thanks for giving this sequel a chance!_

_Lladybug777: i'm liking this whole love-hate relationship we have going here? ;) first, you hate me for not putting byron and char together at the end of ICS&CC – and then you love me for writing a sequel. hmmm. you're an interesting one. J you're obviously not a fan of cliffhangers but i have a few more tricks up my sleeve. muahah._

_jordan: yeeah. that's what i kinda meant about the whole age thing not working out. it gets confusing if you didn't get it right in the first place. whoops. haha. thanks for checking it out though. _

_meangurl: thank you for that.... "enlightened".. comment you left me but i'm sure you have better things to do than read crap – thanks for the oh-so-constructive criticism though. i'd say that i looked forward to reading some of your stuff (which i know is probably fabulous)... if only you actually didn't end up leaving an anonymous review. thanks anyway. a Merry Christmas to you too :)_

**  
CHAPTER TWO - Obstacle**

I nervously looked down at my wristwatch and hastened my pace, my footsteps echoing loudly down the empty hallway. I'd spent a couple of hours in the library, researching a humanities project for Social Studies and totally lost track of time. Being twenty minutes late to our first Yearbook Committee meeting was definitely _not _a good way to start out the year.

I was getting so bad at this whole punctuality deal.

I held my breath as I slowly turned the doorknob and quietly walked into the Yearbook office. The room was impressively almost full. A few heads turned, but I offered a sheepish grin and found an empty spot at the back. Leaning against the edge of a desk, I focused my attention to Kerry Bruno, this year's editor.

"Okay, guys! So you have your assignments and your assignment partners. Please please _please_ don't bug me about who I paired you up with because you really have no choice." She smiled brightly. "Don't hate me because I'm a control freak." That got a few chuckles from the crowd.

_Uh-oh. Partners?_ I thought nervously. _What partners?_

"Now that that's been said, it's brainstorming time!" she announced. "Come back to me in a week with ideas....and details! I love details!" She clapped her hands twice, indicating the end of her speech.

People started getting off their seats and moving around the room, while I stood there, looking like a complete dumb-ass.

"Charlotte!" I turned my head to the sound of the voice and smiled gratefully when I saw it was Vanessa. I hurried over to where she was sitting.

"_Pleease_ tell me that you're my partner," I pleaded.

"I wish I could hun," she said regretfully. "But _that's_ your partner." I followed her pointed index finger with my gaze and where should it land but in the direction of her _brother_.

Oh _nooo_, not Adam or Jordan... or even _Nicky_ for pete's sake -- I wasn't that lucky. Who else but the guy who made my heart sink to the pit of my stomach every time he walked by me: Byron. Byron Pike. That name haunted me. I gulped.

"I _know_," Vanessa said pitifully, probably seeing the stricken look on my face. "Trust me, this was purely Kerry's doing. She wanted seniors paired up with the younger staff and it was... just luck of the draw I guess." She grimaced. "I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do to change it."

"This is fan_tastic_," I said under my breath, my voice thick with sarcasm.

"Well..... c'mon now...." Vanessa began slowly. "Is it _really_ going to be that bad?" I glared at her. "Okay! Fine! But what are you going to do? Drop out of yearbook just because of _him_? Trust me, Char. He's not worth it. You can_ totally_ be editor in two years -- something you've always wanted. So you _need_ to do this. Byron's just an obstacle. Think of it that way."

_An obstacle_, I thought. _Right. Sure..... Okay then. I can do this. _I let out a deep sigh and headed over to his direction. He was already jotting notes down in his notebook.

"Hi," I greeted awkwardly. That was the first word I'd said to him literally since that day at the baseball park. He looked up but then quickly avoided my eyes.

"Hey," he replied flatly. I noticed that he wasn't really jotting down notes, but just doodling absentmindedly on the page. He saw me looking down and abruptly closed the cover.

"Um. So Kerry made us partners," I mumbled.

"I had nothing to do with it," Byron replied briskly.

"I know."

"....Oh."

Great. So this was productive. We were going to get so much accomplished this year. Not.

"Byron and Charlotte!" Kerry, our most _favorite_ person, walked by. "Tsk, tsk. I don't see any brainstorming happening here. C'mon guys!" I rolled my eyes as she passed me. I hated being in this pathetic situation.

I inwardly groaned as I dropped my bag on the floor and took a seat next to Byron, innately leaning as far away as possible. Without saying anything, he slid over a sheet of paper.

It was our assignment for the year. We were supposed to work on page layouts for the big social events at SHS like dances, pep rallies and such.

"This should be.... interesting," I said after reading it, not having much else to say. Byron nodded slowly, running his hands through his hair. He always did that when he was nervous or uncomfortable.

I cleared my throat and took out my pen and a spare notebook. Through my clouded thoughts, I got down to work and started writing. Next to me, Byron opened his notebook and did the same.

For the next twenty-five minutes, we sat there. Just writing. Not a single word passed between us. I could easily say that it was probably _the_ most awkward situation I had been in. Ever.

Thankfully though, by 4:30pm, Kerry dismissed us with a last reminder to have concrete ideas by next week. Not seeing much chance in improving things with Byron, I made a depressing mental note to work on more ideas on my own. I stood up and collected my things into my bag

"So how does Saturday sound?" I looked up, caught off guard. Byron was looking at me expectantly.

"Uh. What?" I wasn't sure I heard him right.

"Tomorrow. Saturday. I start work at four, so we can work on this if you wanted."

"Um, sure." I stammered uncertainly. "Y-You can come over any time."

"How does one o'clock sound? Right after lunch?" I slowly nodded. "Good. See you later."

He walked off without another word.


	3. CHAPTER THREE

_A/N: when i was on hiatus from , i technically really wasn't... the sequel wasn't too far off my mind as i thought about the plot, different sequences and possibilities. i pretty much had it all planned out in my head before even starting to type out the first chapter. so i think it's really cute when people try to guess what's going to happen as the plot develops. ;) i'm trying to stay away from the predictable.... how boring would this be if i didn't? :) happy reading!_

_alwaysremember: geeez woman! as if you really expect me to go right out and tell you if they byron and char are getting together or not!!:) i'm going to agonize you and tell you to keep reading. cues to evil laugh. :)_

**CHAPTER THREE - Throw Away**

I ran my fingers through my hair and proceeded to re-apply Cotton Candy Pink gloss to my lips as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I stopped mid-stroke of the tiny brush and frowned. What the hell was I doing?

Byron was coming over any minute to work on the Yearbook assignment and here I was, trying to get all glammed up... for what? To impress him? I scoffed at my stupidity and capped off the small rose-coloured bottle, stepping away from the mirror. I grabbed a green zip-up hoodie from my bed and wore it over a tight yellow Roxy shirt as I walked barefoot down the stairs.

"Dad," I greeted as I made it on the landing. "Business trip I presume?" At his feet were his briefcase and a small black suitcase.

"Mmhmm." He was preoccupied with his PalmPilot. "The cab should be here soon."

"Oh Dad, you should've asked me. I could've driven you. It really wouldn't have been a problem."

"Don't worry about it, sweetie. Byron should be coming over soon anyway, right?" My reply was muffled by the sound of a beeping horn. "Looks like the cab's here. You want to walk your old man out?" I smiled and with his suitcase in hand, we walked down the driveway to the awaiting yellow cab.

"So, how long are you gone for?"

"Just the weekend. Tuesday evening's the latest." He lightly kissed my forehead and slid into the back seat. "Tell your mom good-bye for me... and don't get into any trouble while I'm away." He winked mischievously and I rolled my eyes.

"_Bye_, Dad." I grinned and slammed the door shut. "Have a safe flight!" I called out as the cab started to drive away.

As soon as it rounded the corner, I stepped back onto the curb and walked up our lawn. I reached the front door just as Byron turned into our driveway on his bike.

My heart foolishly skipped a beat.

"Hey," he mumbled in greeting as he got off his bike.

"Hi. You, um, want to bring that out to the back?"

"Yeah, sure." I led the way as Byron walked his bike out to our back patio, the quiet clinking of the moving chain as it turned round and round, the only sound filling the awkward silence.

I pretended to occupy myself with a potted plant as he locked it up securely. The soil composition of the fern never enthralled me as much as it did right then.

"Ready?" he asked. I looked up and wiped my hands on my shorts, brushing the dirt off my fingers. I gave him a half smile and walked through the back door.

"The dining room okay?" I asked, gesturing to the notebooks and stapled sheets of highlighted paper already in a messy pile on the wide table. I was up late trying to get the Social Studies project done.

"It doesn't matter," Byron shrugged, but taking a seat at the table anyway. I moved the pile aside and took out a fresh piece of paper, taking a seat across from him. I let out a deep breath and got right down to business.

"So, did you just want to start by listing all the possible events we might have to do for the Yearbook?" I glanced up at him, waiting for an answer. He looked up and for the first time that day, our eyes met. He held my gaze in his and for that brief moment, I couldn't make myself look away... I don't know if I even wanted to.

Looking at me squarely in the eyes, he pursed his lips and gave me quick nod.

"Sounds good." He leaned forward on the table with his elbows. "I guess there's Homecoming...."

- -

Soon enough it was three o'clock and Byron had to get home to get ready for work. In the two hours we spent working, we were pretty much prepared to go face to face with Kerry The Editor, complete with a few possible layout templates and everything. It was weird, but the mood between us lifted -- how ever slowly -- and seemed to do a complete 180º.

I really don't know if it was because we mutually decided that nothing was going to get accomplished with all the awkwardness... Maybe we were ready to move on from that... Maybe I realized that I needed him more as a friend than anything else... Maybe... maybe I was just overanalyzing, like I did with everything else in my life.

"I'm going to get so pissed if Kerry totally shuts us down," Byron said, chuckling as he bent down to unlock his bike chain. "We did some good work today."

"I concur," I replied, smiling. "Just _please_ don't forget to get everything printed. That's pretty much all we need to get done."

"Jesus! You don't trust me one bit do you, Char?" He laughed as I made a face. "You're almost as bad as Kerry." I playfully shoved him forward as he pushed his bike down the path.

"Get out of here," I called out after him.

"See ya later." Byron got on his bike and waved as he pedalled away. I grinned and waved back, feeling genuinely happy about what was happening.

But as I laid in my bed that night, the tight feeling in my chest returned.

It couldn't be that easy.... could it?

Was I ready to just throw away the whole summer – all the memories, everything I felt – only to go back to square one... to where we started? To being _just_ friends?

...Something like that is so hard to forget.


	4. CHAPTER FOUR

_A/N: oooooh... you guys are just so special. i've decided to post two whole chapters in this update. enjoy!_

**CHAPTER FOUR - Hidden**

"...And _then_, it was like we were all buddy-buddy! Like nothing had ever happened between us! I think even _I _was starting to believe that." I leaned back against the lockers and groaned. Becca looked at me sympathetically.

"But this is_ good_... isn't it?" she said in an unsure tone. "At least it's better than all the unpleasantness, all the empty stares." Amber shut the door of her locker and I looked at her with a pained look on my face, waiting for her added commentary.

"I just think it's stupid," she said matter-of-factly. I gaped at her, open-mouthed.

"_Excuse me_?" I asked harshly, totally caught off guard by her response. Amber laughed.

"I'm just saying that I think it's stupid how everyone plays these games. How everyone questions every single itty bitty move they make. I know I don't know the whole story, so take this is as an outsider's view: it's either he's in your life or he's not. Which one is it going to be?"

She was so... blunt. And honest.

"I-I guess _in_ my life," I replied quietly, slightly perplexed.

"So there you have it!" she cried out with a burst of laughter. The three of us started walking down the hallway to our math class. "Things don't _need_ to be planned out. Learn to roll with the punches, Char. You're going to get knocked down sometimes, but you'll learn to stand up again."

"I wish it was that easy," I muttered under my breath. Amber stepped in front of me, blocking the doorway to the classroom. She forced me to look at her squarely in the eye.

"Charlotte. It _is_ that easy," she said confidently. I looked at her with eyebrow raised. "Do you want to spend the rest of your life stressing like you have these past few weeks? Worrying _obviously _wasn't helping the situation. So how 'bout you try a new approach?"

"I'll think about it," I replied with a small smile, finally giving in. She stepped beside me and draped an arm over my shoulder.

"'Atta girl."

- -

At the end of another long day at school, I found myself standing in front of my locker, propping my messenger bag up on my bent knee as I searched for my daily planner. I was beginning to feel suffocated, already stuck in this tiring daily routine.

I found my planner under my Biology notebook and started skimming the pages, dropping the bag on the floor. The after school crowd was starting to disperse and I was glad to have some quiet time left to myself. I sighed and grabbed my math exercise booklet and the poetry hardcover we were studying in English, stuffing them into my bag.

"Hey Charlotte!" I turned my head and smiled in greeting as Byron jogged towards me down the hall. "I thought you'd be long gone by now. Glad I caught you." He waved a black folder in front of my face. I gave him a questioning look and took it from him.

"Nice," I commented, nodding approvingly. In the folder were the templates we'd worked on last weekend. "I thought they'd look really bad and different than on screen. But hey, they're really good."

"You totally have no confidence in us, do you?" Byron asked, laughing. I gave him a wary look.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"What?!"

"C'mon! As if you _really_ thought we'd pull something really amazing together after -- " I stopped mid-sentence, avoided his eyes and looked down at my feet. I was so afraid of opening old wounds, especially when things were finally okay between us.

"..After everything happened in the summer." He gravely finished my sentence for me. I slowly looked up into the brown eyes that once told me I Love You. Now, seeing them empty of everything I once knew, I finally understood that it was over. For real now. I guess I'd always thought there was that chance that he'd remember what he felt for me. It took that one moment to make me realize I was wrong.

"...Yeah," I replied flatly.

"I-I thought we were past this," Byron said, downhearted. "I mean, last Saturday... you.. you seemed so set in just putting the past behind us and getting down to business. I didn't know it 'til then, but I needed that from you. It made me realize that I was beginning to hate not having you in my life. Even after everything that's happened, I need you here, Charlotte. We've been friends for years and it's been hell pretending I hated you."

"Don't you think it's too soon, Byron? I mean, we both got really hurt and I don't think it's supposed to be _this_ easy."

"I really don't know about that," he admitted, shrugging. He leaned against the lockers, stuffing his hands in his jeans pockets. "Maybe... maybe we had to go through everything to know – " He paused and collected his thoughts.

"To know what?" He looked intently at the floor and replied quietly,

"...To know that we were always just meant to be friends."

Deep inside the bottom of my heart, I knew there was a piece of me that didn't believe that. But the last thing I wanted was to pine over some guy who wouldn't return my feelings, so I just nodded, burying that piece of me deeper into my being, keeping it hidden from even myself.

"Charlotte," Byron said gently, breaking me away from my thoughts. He was looking up at me now. "I want you to know that I really didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so— ." I forcibly shut my eyes and stopped him,

"I don't need your apology. Please.... I just want things to be okay now."

"...They will be," he replied after a pause.

We stood in a now calming silence in the empty hallway. We stood as two lone figures scarred by our past. Two wounded players, now weary of playing fate's game.


	5. CHAPTER FIVE

_A/N: reeeeally sorry for the lateness guys! i've been having writer's block lately... i blame it on being back at school and not getting to wake up at noon anymore. i hope your holidays were as awesome as mine were. Happy 2005, everyone! i hope this new year brings you more love, peace and happiness._

**CHAPTER FIVE - Old Friends**

I hung up the phone just as the clock struck six o'clock.

"So, great! I just need that Kirkpatrick appointment to be recorded and I guess that's it. Unless..." I looked around at the other club members in my room.

"I think we're good," Karen piped up. She got up from the floor and brushed the backside of her jeans. "I guess I'll just see you guys tonight?" The others started following her lead and started getting ready to leave.

"What are we watching though?" Jenny asked as she tidied her hair in front of my mirror. "Do we just decide when we get there?" We had planned a Friday night out at the movies with the guys since we all hadn't hung out together in a while.

"In that case, I'm predicting chaos," Vanessa replied, sticking her tongue out.

"Oh, Vanessa, you'll be there to pull the troops together. I don't think we have to worry," Becca said, smiling, as she gently patted Vanessa's back. Even though Vanessa was younger than the triplets, it was a well-known fact that she was heck of a lot more mature than them... all _combined_. Vanessa smirked and waved as she walked out of my room. The other girls soon followed suit.

"I'm baby-sitting Shawn tonight, so I might be late," I called out after them, waving good-bye.

- -

"Just keeping swimming, swimming, swimming," Karen and Jenny belted out the tune together, giggling like a couple of five year olds.

"Cut it out!" Craig whined to the two girls at either side of him. "That's going to get stuck in my head for the rest of the night!" The girls had sly smiles on their faces as they leaned their heads right next to Craig's ears and sang even louder. Craig retaliated by playfully trying to take a bite out of Karen's shoulder.

"Dude!" Karen squealed, laughing as she pushed him away. "Our waiter should be coming any minute now. Fries taste a whole lot better than human flesh." I had an amused smile on my face as that started a whole round of dreadful _Silence of the Lambs_ impressions from the guys sitting around the table.

We all had headed over to Phantom Pizza to satisfy our late night cravings after deciding to see _Finding Nemo_ at the Cineplex. Tired of cheesy romantic chick flicks and predictable suspense thrillers, _Finding Nemo_ was perfect. Insanely funny. Heck, even Adam admitted he liked it.

Our group was getting really rowdy and being the one sitting at the head of the table, I was the first one to notice our waitress approaching. I did a double take when I realized it was someone I knew.

"Hey! I didn't know you worked here," I said, surprised, but offering a friendly smile. The blonde girl in the red and white checkered uniform blinked and cocked her head to one side.

"...Charlotte Johanssen, right?" she finally said, grinning. I laughed,

"It's awesome seeing you again! How's Matt doing?" At that, her expression slightly shifted. She avoided my eyes as she looked down at the small pad of paper she had in her hands as she mumbled absentmindedly,

"Oh. He's, um, fine I guess. I don't really –"

"_Haley Braddock_?!" Vanessa gasped. She squealed and jumped up to smother a surprised Haley in a huge hug. "_Ohmigod_! I haven't seen you in _ages_!" Haley smiled widely as she said hi to Vanessa and the rest of the gang.

"So Hales, coming back to SHS?" Byron asked. Haley smiled wryly and opened her mouth to answer when a balding man in an apron popped his head from the doorway to the kitchen and shouted,

"Braddock! I'm not paying you to socialize! Get to work!" Haley nodded and made a face as she turned to face us.

"Thanks, guys! Way to get me in trouble," she laughed. "Let me just get your orders," she said, grinning. "Then I'll be happy to answer all your _other_ questions." Not wanting to make things any more difficult, we just ordered three extra large pepperoni pizzas and Cokes to go around.

"Wow. How long has it been since we've seen her?" Vannessa asked incredulously as Haley went off to the kitchen to get our drinks.

"It must be since sixth grade," Becca replied, shrugging. Sitting beside her, Jordan nodded.

"I remember they moved to New York so that Matt could get into that exclusive school."

"Some sort of school for the deaf?" Adam asked. "That kind of thing?"

"Yeah," Jordan replied. "I wonder why they're back though..."

"You know, it's really not polite to talk about someone when they're not there." Surprised, we looked up and there was Haley, carrying two pitchers of Coke in each hand, a playful smirk on her face. Jordan's ears turned a slight shade of red. Haley placed the two pitchers on the table and wiped her hands on her short apron.

"I, um, was just – " Jordan muttered uncomfortably. Haley laughed.

"It was a joke, Jordan. We've been home for a while now. I was supposed to start at SHS at the beginning of the year, but the whole moving back thing got complicated with my parents having to start work right away." She grabbed a few glasses and started placing them around the table.

"Are you guys back at your old house?" Becca asked.

"Um.. Actually, no," she replied, carefully avoiding eye contact. "We - We're staying at an apartment on Kaplan Drive now. It's, uh, probably just something temporary though."

"That's good. Matt's doing okay too?"

"Oh yeah. But he's... actually not living with us anymore." I guess she noted the puzzled looks on all our faces because she gave us a half smile and sighed before she continued. "He's still in New York. In boarding school." Haley smiled but you couldn't ignore the sadness in her eyes. You could tell it really killed her to be so far away from him. We allknew how close they were. "But anyway, your pizzas should be ready by now." She excused herself politely as she walked back to the kitchen, coming back shortly with our steaming pizzas.

Everyone jumped in and started grabbing at the thick slices, talking loudly. As I waited my turn, I looked up and through the tangle of outstretched arms, I saw Haley squeeze in between Byron and Becca's seats to place the last of the pizzas on the table.

"Hey, Hales..." Byron gently grasped her arm as she pulled it up from the table. He let go and she looked down at him expectantly, pushing a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "I know how it feels. Mal went to boarding school for a while and, sure, it's tough in the beginning but it gets better... eventually." He grinned at her assuringly and in return, she gave him a small smile and mouthed a silent thank you before walking away.

Byron leaned forward in his seat and looked up across the table, catching my eye as he saw me watching. I nodded my head once and gave him a half smile. I knew then that that was what I loved about him most... that he really cared about other people, sometimes above his own self.

It was then that I realized that what he said told me that day in the hallway was true for me, too.

I needed him as a friend, if nothing else.

It was hard to even imagine not having him in my life.

- -

I tossed the car keys in my left hand as I punched in the code for our security system, squinting to see the keypad through the neon green glow in the darkness. I yawned as I made it through the kitchen, careful not to bump into anything. It was late and I had just gotten in.

I grimaced once I made it upstairs and saw the light still on in my parents' room. They were waiting up for me. _Of course._ I sighed and walked towards their room, knocking swiftly before opening the door.

"Hey, Mom and Dad? I'm home." I stopped short and noticed that my dad was pacing around the room and my mom was sitting in front of her bureau drawer, both with worried looks on their faces. They stopped whatever they were talking about and looked up. They seemed surprised to see me. "Mom, I _told_ you I was going to be out late," I said, exasperated. "I know there's the whole Only Child Syndrome thing going on, but _please_ don't worry about me so much."

My mom gave me a small smile. "We know, honey. It's alright," she said quietly, surprising me with her simplicity. "It's late, you should go to bed."

I shrugged off the slightly odd feeling I was getting and said good night to both of them before heading off to my room. I soon forgot everything as I nodded off to sleep, wrapped up in this demented dream about Care Bears in army uniforms attacking Smurfs.

Those three slices of pizza I wolfed down got to me in such a bad way. I _really_ don't recommend it. Trust me.


	6. CHAPTER SIX

_A/N: okaaaay! so who didn't like that last chapter very much?? ME! definitely not one of my favorites. :P but hey, it wasn't a major chapter, so i guess i'm okay with that. maybe i'm just too picky... who knows. in any case, better chapters next time! thanks for sticking with me, guys. apologies yet again for my lateness._

**CHAPTER SIX - Tactics**

"I already have my dress and everything!" Jenny squealed with much enthusiasm. That got a few raised eyebrows. "_What?!_" she asked, slightly offended by our stares.

"It's three weeks away, Jenny," Karen replied flatly. "And plus, it's _just_ Homecoming." She rolled her eyes for extra dramatic effect.

"So _what_?" Jenny retorted complacently. "My mom _always_ says to dress your best at every occasion."

"Surprise, surprise," Karen muttered under her breath.

We were in the midst of Homecoming season and were talking about the dance. No doubt about it, Jenny would be the true fashionista and show up in some original Versace dress.

"I'm sure it's lovely, Jenn." Becca smiled assuringly, butting in to stop the bickering. "I can't wait to go shopping for mine."

"We're all going together, right?" I asked hopefully. Shopping with the girls was always such an awesome time.

"Of course!" Vanessa cried. "Just a warning though: I'm ready to fight to the death if both of us have an eye out for the same dress." She winked at me devilishly. I laughed and playfully raised two clenched fists, as if ready for a fight.

"Although I'd _love_ to see you girls go at it, I have to get cracking on my website development project for Griffin's class. Sorry, dudes." Becca threw her juice box in the recycling bin and tossed her purple backpack over her shoulder as she stood up.

"Can't wait to finally see the BSC on the web," I said, grinning at her.

"I know! Don't you just love it when teachers let you think up your own projects? See you guys later!" Becca waved to everyone as she walked towards the cafeteria doors. As soon as she was out of earshot, we all quickly huddled our heads together.

"So everything's planned, right?" I hissed.

"Pretty much. Invitations are all ready and I ordered the balloons.. _purple_, of course," Karen replied, whispering.

"I have the cake.. Ordered, I mean," Jenny hastily corrected in a hushed tone. "There's no way you'd _ever_ catch me baking."

"You're such a priss, Jenny," Vanessa teased. "And why the heck are we whispering, anyway? She's gone." We all looked at each other and burst out laughing. We were such goofs. We all sat back in our seats and went down the checklist of everything that still needed to be done.

"So, who's telling the guys?" Karen asked, chewing on a cheese string. "I definitely give props to whoever thought about _not_ telling them 'til a few days beforehand."

"_That_, my dear, was all me," Vanessa said smugly. "Seriously. Those guys totally suck at keeping secrets. Becca would've found out ages ago if we told them."

"But, wait!" Jenny suddenly cried out. "What - What if Jordan has some big romantic thing planned for the both of them that night?"

"That... could actually work to our advantage," Karen said thoughtfully. "Becca and Jordan go out that night, do their own mushy, kissy-kissy thing... and then Jordan can bring Becca over to Char's. Char can say she has a birthday gift to give her or what not."

"Good idea," Vanessa said, nodding her head. "But _please_, Karen? _Never_ mention the words 'Jordan' and 'kissy-kissy' in the same sentence ever again." Karen smirked.

"Perfect!" I said, smiling widely. "Operation Surprise Ramsey will be proceed as planned this Saturday."


	7. CHAPTER SEVEN

_A/N: so, i really got back into writing again!! yay for that! i said my good-byes to the agony that was writer's block. seriously, it took me weeks to get those last two chapters out but i was really pumped to write this one and got it all typed out in a matter of days. it's longer than any of the other chapters i've written, so i'm happy about that too. i hope it will suffice for now. i could've made it into two, but decided against it. enjoy it, nevertheless!_

_i haven't begged in a while: pleeeease read and review. if you read this, please leave a note and give me feedback. it'll mean so much to me! :)_

**CHAPTER SEVEN - It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To**

A smile lingered on my lips as my favorite Coldplay track started playing on the stereo. My foot started tapping intuitively to the beat as I stood in front of a huge bowl of sugary purple frosting on the kitchen counter, carefully coating cupcakes for the party. I didn't hesitate to sing along,

"_...Home's places we've grown,  
__All of us are done for.  
__...We live in a beautiful world.._"

"_Yeah we do, yeah we do_." An gawky high pitched voice interrupted, singing along. I raised an eyebrow and spun around to face Byron, with the goofiest grin on his face. I burst out laughing.

"Let's leave Chris Martin to do all the singing," I teased. He stuck his tongue out at me and stepped up to the counter to see what I was doing.

"Vanessa kicked me out of your basement and sent me up here to see if there was anything I could do to help out." I swiftly swatted away his hand as he tried to stick a pointed index finger into the bowl of frosting. He grinned sheepishly as he withdrew his hand, but he was too quick for me. He jumped right back in and scooped up a good portion of frosting. Annoyed, I smirked at him as he leaned on the counter, licking his fingers with a smug look on his face.

"So.... anything else I can do to help?" Byron asked, laughing. I was in such a great mood that I couldn't stay annoyed. There was still a ton of things left to do though, so I told him he could leave.

"Aww, you're not mad at you?" he asked with an exaggerated pout, mistaking my tone of voice. I laughed.

"Definitely not, Byron. We're cool, remember?" He looked at me thoughtfully and I looked back at him, perplexed at why he was looking at me that way.

"Do you want to dance?"

"What?" I snorted.

"The song's really good. Let's dance," he said matter-of-factly.

"Um. Byron, what _exactly_ are you on right now?" He made a face but made a move towards me, leaving me breathless as he wrapped his arm around me and placed his hand in the small of my back, gently pulling me closer. I grinned widely as I looked into his smiling eyes as his other hand held mine outstretched and we swayed to the mellow tempo.

"_We live in a beautiful world. (Yeah we do, yeah we do)  
__We live in a beautiful world. (Yeah we do, yeah we do)  
__....Oh, all that I know is there's nothing to run from.  
_'_Cause, yeah, everybody here's got somebody to lean on._"

"Weeeeirdo! What the hell?!" Vanessa laughed, walking into the kitchen just as the song ended. I blushed and hastily stepped away from Byron and back to the counter. "I come into the kitchen looking for cupcakes and I find lunatics instead."

"Uh, just practising for Homecoming, I guess," Byron chuckled, scratching the back of his head, turning red with embarrassment. Vanessa raised an eyebrow.

"Rrrright. If you've had enough, uh, _practice_ up here, the two boys downstairs need help putting up the banner, if you don't mind." Byron looked at me questioningly.

"You really don't need any help with the food?" he asked.

"Uh, nope.. no. I don't think so," I replied, slightly flustered.

"Ohhkay then." He walked out of the kitchen a little _too_ quickly but that didn't stop Vanessa from rushing over to my side.

"What was _that_?!" she asked excitedly. I felt blood rush to my face.

"Nothing..." I replied awkwardly, avoiding her eyes, staring intently at the cupcake I was frosting. "We were just goofing around."

"Aww..." she gushed. "You _know _how much I loved it when you guys were together. Don't tell me – " I furrowed my eyebrows and stopped her.

"No," I said in a hollow voice. "We're done and it's over. It's not going to happen again. That's the last thing I want."

I clenched my jaw but I was left unconvinced. I didn't believe a word I was saying.

- -

I fingered the edge of the Venetian blinds covering our front window and gently pushed them to one side. I peeked through, biting my bottom lip nervously. Jordan just called twenty minutes ago, from the restaurant where he and Becca were having dinner, and said they'd be over soon.

Just as I looked up from the clock in the foyer, bright beams from the car's headlights lit up the dark living room. I took another look through the blinds and was excited to see that it was black SUV turning into the driveway. Soon enough, I heard a pair of voices and footsteps walking up the front path.

The doorbell echoed through the seemingly empty house and I waited a few seconds before heading for that door. I didn't want to seem _too_ eager, after all. I opened the front door and upon seeing them, I screeched an excited birthday greeting and enveloped my bestfriend in an enormous hug.

"So..... how was the dinner?" I asked, winking mischievously, as both Jordan and Becca walked into the foyer.

"It was perfect," Becca replied sincerely, smiling as she gave Jordan a quick kiss. Jordan looked at her with so much love in his eyes and I smiled at them wistfully.

....I yearned for someone to look at me that way. I wanted to be in love.

I erased the thought quickly, knowing that this night wasn't about me and what I wanted. It was about Becca and seeing her so happy was more than enough for the both of us. I grinned as I linked my arm in hers and slowly walked her towards the basement door with Jordan at our heels.

"I found it extremely strange how you needed me to come all the way over here to get my present," Becca said curiously.

"Oh," I said simply, not breaking a sweat. "You really think I'd spare myself the look on your face when you see how huge and amazing your birthday present is?" Becca smiled.

"Hmm... Now you're making me antsy. I totally feel like a six year old on Christmas Day," she replied ecstatically.

"Ready?" I asked, my heart racing with anticipation. "You have to close your eyes though," I instructed as we reach the stairs leading to the basement. She complied and I took her hand in mine. "No peeking!" I exclaimed, automatically raising my other hand to her eyes.

"What?! Do you want me to fall flat on my face?" Becca laughed. "These are stairs, dummy!"

"Don't worry about it. We'll go slowly and there's railings on your left." I led her down the flight of stairs and into the awesomely decorated room. Helium balloons all shades of purple were floating on the ceiling, streamers were strung and a huge banner was pinned up. All my friends were waiting, all with huge grins plastered on their faces.

I stopped at the landing and told her not to open her eyes as I took my hand away.

"Okay. Open your eyes at the count of three," I instructed, trying my best to keep from laughing. "One... Two... Three!"

"SURPRISE!!" Everyone in the room cheered with everything they had in them.

The look on Becca's face was priceless as she stood there in disbelief, her eyes wide and her jaw dropping to the ground. After a few moments of letting everything sink in, she closed her mouth and her lip started quivering, her eyes tearing.

"You guys.... are _amazing_," she said quietly, at a loss for words as tears slowly ran down her cheeks. "You can't ask for better friends. This is _definitely_ for life. I don't doubt that for a second." Her small speech got everyone in the room choked up and I think even Craig got a little teary (a fact that he vehemently denied the whole night.).

We all took turns hugging and greeting the birthday girl and soon enough, we all got down to the business of partying as music started thumping and we dug into all the junkfood that was laid out. Sugar was definitely the cause of all the ruckus as the birthday cake was brought out later on that night, lit with candles burning brightly. We all sang Happy Birthday loudly and as Becca blew her candles out, we pulled out what we were hiding behind our backs: cans of silly string supplied by the ingenious prankster that is Adam and covered a shocked Becca in a gooey mess.

"Great. Now _this_ kind of surprise, I can do without," Becca smirked.

I squealed with laughter as we all turned on each other, starting a silly string war. Byron chose me, of all people, to unleash his attack. We ran around the room, bumping into everyone else, when he eventually got me cornered up against a wall.

With a devilish smile, Byron pulled his can out and cowardly, I accepted defeat. He mocked an evil laugh as he covered my whole head and face with string until his can ran out. I smirked playfully. Now it was _my_ turn.

"Uh oh." With a panicked look on his face, he threw down his empty can and made a move to run away but I quickly grabbed his arm and roughly pushed his back against the wall. Laughing, I stood on my toes and did exactly what he did to me but also placing an extra dollop on his nose.

"Now... we're even," I said smugly as I squirted the remains of the can on top of his head. I looked down into his eyes and that was when I realized how incredibly close we were standing. Our faces were only inches apart and I stared at his lips that were smiling the smile that I'd always found irresistible. I swallowed nervously.

My body grew stiff as he raised his hand, and his fingers gently pushed the silly string away from eyes. At his touch, my heart started racing and all I could think about was kissing him.

Suddenly, a door upstairs slammed loudly and I reflexively jumped at the loud sound. That broke me away from my thoughts and Byron tore his eyes away from mine as he looked upwards anxiously.

"I'm going to check it out," I muttered, brushing off most of silly string as I walked towards the stairs.

"Want me to go with you?" Byron asked, concerned. I smiled at him thankfully.

"I'm sure it's nothing. Probably just the wind. Plus, my parents are home anyway."

At that, I walked up the stairs and began to investigate where the sound came from. As I moved around my dimly lit house, I was trying to convince myself that there was nothing to worry about. I obviously wasn't very successful as I started getting very nervous.

I made my way into the front and let out a big sigh of relief as I saw my mom with her back to me, perched up, leaning against the couch. The front door was opened a crack and I rolled my eyes as I walked over and closed it.

"God! I almost had a heart attack! I thought some robber came in and -- " I stopped mid-sentence as I turned around and saw my mom standing there with a stricken look on her face. She looked like she had been crying. "Mom?" I asked quietly, worried as I stepped towards her. "Wh-What's wrong?"

She looked at me with so much sadness in her eyes and started to slowly stroked my hair.

"Mom, what's wrong? _Please_ talk to me." I was getting desperate. I'd never seen her this way before.

"Your Dad's left for another business meeting in Seattle," she said flatly.

Okay. So now I understood. We both missed him terribly every time he'd leave. I was relieved to find out that it wasn't _really_ anything serious. It was obviously normal to miss your husband whenever he was gone. They were two halves of a whole, after all. I gave my mom a tight hug, trying to comfort her.

"We _both_ miss him, Mom," I said emphatically, leaning my forehead on her shoulder. "I know it must be hard not being with him all this time. But it's not for forever and plus, _I'm_ here. I hope that's enough consolation." That got a small smile out of her.

"It's more than enough, honey." She gently kissed my forehead. "Now get back to your party. I don't want people saying my daughter's a bad host." I quietly laughed and hugged her one more time before walking away.

After a few steps, I snuck a look over my shoulder and saw that she had started to cry again. I bit my lip anxiously but knew that she wanted to be left alone. I guess everyone needs a good cry every now and then. I sighed and took comfort in the fact that everything would eventually work itself out: in a few days, Dad would be home and Mom would transform into her usual cheerful self.

I walked back to the basement, hopping down the stairs. Once there, I was back with friends, back to where the night was perfect: I was finally _really_ happy and content. There was nothing that could ruin it for me.

_A/N: does that sound a little too ominous? hahah. if you know me at all, you know i'm not going to make it that easy for poor old assuming charlotte. i'd like to get some drama up in here. who's with me?? read & review!! i'd love to get a few more reviews before the next update. erm, i know i was gone for a while... so i'm not sure if anyone's still reading this. :P let me know if you are! thanks!_


	8. CHAPTER EIGHT

_A/N: thank you so much to everyone who left me a note. it probably sounds insincere by now, due to the number of times i've said it, but i really do appreciate it. sometimes this gets so tiring just because it takes so much out of my daily life and everything else that's going on in it. it just gets me down when people read and read and read but feel that it's not their courtesy to give you feedback whether it be good or bad. i mean, i don't want it to be forced or anything... but seriously, who wants to continue giving 150 of themselves to something when they don't feel like they're even acknowledged?_

_i know it just seems like i'm whining, but i want you to know why your feedback is so crucial to keeping this whole process going. essentially, this is why was created. this is why i come here. i wholeheartedly enjoy getting feedback from fellow fans and writers, people who know what it takes. :)_

_so, thank you, to everyone's whose still supporting this project. i am devoted to this and i really don't want to disappoint. onwards we go..._

**CHAPTER EIGHT** **-** **My Disconcerted Heart**

_Everything's such a fucking mess. _I scribbled furiously in my journal, my tears blotting the ink on the page. I roughly wiped my wet cheeks with my sleeve, my shoulders heaving from my cries.

_I am such a fucking IDIOT. Why did I believe that things were going to be different this time around? _

_...ARRRGH!!! Fuck. How the hell did I get myself into this?_

_Oh, god. _

_I have to tell her._

- -

I beeped twice, drumming my hands impatiently on the steering wheel. The clock stereo blinked 8:04. If we didn't get a move on, we were going to be late for sure. I smiled with relief as Amber made her way out of her front door, her backpack wobbling off one shoulder as she jogged to my car.

"Sorry," she said, smiling sheepishly as she slid into the front seat. "I spent too much time in the shower this morning and plus, Orlando Bloom was on Regis & Kelly." I rolled by eyes and laughed, checking behind my right shoulder as I backed out of her driveway.

"You're seriously obsessed. Don't tell me you actually _taped_ it," I teased.

"So what if I did?" Amber asked, sticking her tongue out at me. "He's hot and he's my future husband. Only he doesn't know it yet."

"Rrright..." I said warily as I stopped at a stop sign.

"But enough about The Bloom!" Amber exclaimed. "I totally hate you for not telling me what happened at the party when I called you last night!"

"That's what you get for not coming," I smirked.

"Oh, shut up!" Amber huffed. "I _told_ you a week ago that I had to go to New York with my parents. Visited stupid relatives. Bo-o-ring! I would've _much_ rather gone to your little shin-dig. Tell me already!!"

"Maybe later..." I replied with a sly smile. I liked torturing her.

"You _suck_!" Amber cried out, but with a huge grin on her face. "You're killing me! Out with it! Is it Byron-related? Ohmigod! It is! I see the twinkle in your eyes!" She groaned loudly. "Charlotte!" Amber whined. "Pleeeease?"

"Alright already!" I said, grinning as I drove into the SHS Student Parking Lot. I made a left to the closest empty space I spotted. "I think I've held you in enough suspense."

"You _think_?" Amber replied with mock bitterness. I carefully parked my Jetta and took the key out of the ignition.

"The whole night was amazing," I started, turning in my seat to face Amber. "Everyone was having such a good time. Byron held me in his arms and danced with me," I sighed, a smile playing on my lips as I remembered that night. "He was funny, adorable and so sweet all at the same time. It was like we were back to were we were supposed to be. It was like Sea City all over again. Stolen glances and secret smiles." My smile grew wider at the memory of it all.

"And...." Amber prompted impatiently.

"There was a silly string war and I, well, _we_.... We almost kissed," I said breathlessly. I let a few moments of silence pass, to let in all sink in.

"That's _it_?" Amber asked in a flat tone. I opened my mouth in disbelief and swatted her arm.

"Shut up!" I exclaimed, letting out a big laugh. "This is big. This is _huge_."

"Char, reality check: an 'almost' kiss isn't _huge_," she replied pointedly. Boy, was she ever abrupt..

"Excuse me? Have you not listened these past few weeks to the saga that is my life?" I asked keenly. "This is huge, considering he wasn't even talking to me a month ago."

Amber made a face. "Fine. I guess if you put it _that_ way..." I had made my point. The first bell rang loudly and we got out of the car, grabbing our things. We had five minutes to get to class, which was plenty of time.

"So, did you talk to him at all after the party?" Amber asked as we made our way to the front doors.

"No," I frowned. "I picked up the phone about a million times but decided not to. I thought it was maybe too soon."

"Well, you get to see him _todaaay_," Amber teased playfully.

"I know!" I squealed, giggling like a six year old, unable to conceal my excitement. We walked into the halls of Stoneybrook High and separated ways.

"Maybe there'll be more opportunities for an 'almost kiss,'" Amber called out after me. I made a face but waved good-bye as I turned the corner. The halls were full of students trying to get to class on time but I saw him through the crowd. He was at his locker, his back towards me. He was wearing my favorite shirt, the one that brought out his gorgeous eyes.

_What do I do? What do I say?_ My thoughts started racing but it was like everything around me started to move in slow motion. The crowd started thinning out and I could see him more clearly now. He turned to close his locker and that was when I noticed he was talking to someone else. I cocked my head to the side, slightly disconcerted, but the next few moments explained it all too well.

I felt my heart literally stop and every inch of my being went numb as Byron slowly bent his head down and softly kissed her lips.

_Haley..._

_A/N: dun, dun, DUNNNN.... c'mon now, did anyone see that coming??! i LOVE having all the control for once! insert evil laugh byron's a jerk, isn't he? :P i really hope this didn't seem too far off from left field or too impossible. when first i introduced haley's character (ch.5), i was actually concerned about doing too much to lead you on because i had all this planned out. if you didn't expect this twist, i know i did my job. ;) either way, i'd love to know what you think. you can hate me all you want! once again, i must sorry to all the byron&char fans!:( don't worry.. there'll be some interesting developments, as you can tell from that teaser i decided to add at the beginning of this chapter. just keep reading! :)_


	9. CHAPTER NINE

_A/N: just a slight warning: i've upped the ante on the adult subject matter (however slight) but will probably continue to do so in future chapters. please tell me if you have concerns or if you feel that i need to up the rating. thanks!_

**CHAPTER NINE - Just Deal**

I slumped over on the padded stool I was sitting on, on the verge of tears. _Pull yourself together_, I told myself. _You will not do this to yourself all over again. I refuse to let you._

The curtains on the dressing room next to me swished open and I gathered myself together, checking my reflection one more time. _You're so pathetic._

"Hey, Char, you ready?" Becca asked. I sighed loudly.

"Uh-huh." I slowly opened the curtain and tentatively stepped out, dressed in a light blue tube dress with a flowy skirt and white lace sheath. Becca herself had changed into a spaghetti strap ivory coloured dress that ended just below her knees.

"What do you think?" she asked warily, looking down at herself. I gave her a small smile.

"I think we have a winner," I replied, plastering a huge fake smile on my face. She bit her bottom lip as she looked back at her reflection

"Umm... I don't know. Maybe the black halter one was better?" She didn't wait for my answer and went straight back into the dressing room, pulling the curtain closed. I stared forlornly at the mirrors surrounding me, swishing the skirt from side to side, the movement almost hypnotizing me. "I think yours is perfect, Char," Becca called out, breaking me away from my empty thoughts. "I like it so much more than the red one we saw."

"Yeah..." I said absentmindedly, frankly not caring anymore.

"Are you getting it?" she asked.

"Sure. Why not?" I said, shrugging as I walked back into the dressing room. I reached up behind me and mechanically zipped myself out of the dress. I lazily closed my eyes as I changed back into my knit cardigan hoodie and jeans. I was so tired. Tired of everything. Tired of pretending.

As I stepped out of the room, Becca smiled and linked her arm with mine. She started chatting away, a mile a minute but I barely paid attention, just somehow knowing the parts when I was supposed to laugh or say "Yeah, I know."

We paid for our dresses and left the store to meet up with the other girls at the food court. They'd all gone shopping for accessories while Becca and I were hunting for our dresses. After an ice-cream break, we were all going shopping for shoes.

"Hey, you okay?" Amber quietly asked as I slid into the booth next to her. Everyone was already at the food court when we'd gotten there. Amber and I had offered to stay to watch everyone's things as they ordered. I couldn't take it anymore. I swallowed a lump in my throat, tears stinging my eyes.

"No," I croaked. "Can we just get out of here?" Amber gave me a rueful smile.

"Sure, we can hang at my house. Screw the shoes." I smiled at her thankfully and was even more grateful when she faked a headache on my behalf and said she needed to go home. The other girls were sympathetic and we soon said our good-byes.

I don't know why, but I didn't want my friends to see me go through this – not again. I knew they were sick of my constant whining and all my tears. Seriously, how could they _not_ be? Even I was sick of myself.

Amber and I walked briskly to the parking lot. The crowded mall was suffocating me. I just wanted to curl up and be alone.

"Whooaa.. where's the fire?" I was roughly jerked back when someone grabbed my arm. I looked up and it was Byron, wearing his striped Footlocker uniform. Awesome. The one day I ventured to _this_ specific mall was on the day he was working. When I didn't reply, he looked at me questioningly. "Is there anything wrong?"

_Is there anything wrong?_ _How about the fact I want to wring your neck right now and choke you to death, you fucking bastard._

"No," I replied matter-of-factly. "Just in a hurry to get out of here." _And out of your fucking face_.

"Oh. Okay. I'll, uh, see you around at school then."

"Uh-huh." I walked away without saying good-bye, hurrying my pace because I felt the tears swelling, about to come out in torrents. By the time I reached my car, I fumbled with the keys, my tears blurring my vision. I got in and slammed the door, turning on the iginition as Amber slid into the front seat.

_You're not going to cry. You're not going to cry._

I managed to hold myself together as I drove through the streets of Stoneybrook that Saturday afternoon. We got to Amber's house and that was where I fell apart.

I sat there in her driveway, crying for who knows how long. Amber sat next to me the whole time, silent and unperturbed.

"This is so fucking irritating," I cried, my chest heaving "I have no reason to be mad but I still am. I led myself on. I was stupid enough to think that there was something there, even when he _explicitly_ told me that it was all over. I was the fucking fool in all this. I'm the one to blame."

"Charlotte..." Amber said soothingly. "Don't do this to yourself. Let's just get inside and cool off. Stay the night if you want. We can talk... or not talk Whatever you feel like." I let out a shaky breath and followed Amber's lead.

I lazily plopped onto her bed once we got to her room and I drowned out all of my emotions as loud, angry rock music blared from her stereo.

"I have the perfect solution to all this," Amber said. "I'll just be a minute." She disappeared for a few moments and came back with two glasses in her hands. I sat up and took one of them, right away recognizing the strong smell of alcohol. "Courtesy of Mommy and Daddy's liquor cabinet in the den," Amber grinned devilishly. She tilted her head back and emptied the glass in one gulp. I looked at her, slightly hesitant.

"What? Oh, _come on_!" Amber laughed. "It's just _one_ drink. Trust me. It'll make you feel a million times better once you –" She wasn't even done her sentence when I guzzled down the drink, the sharp tang teasing my taste buds, scorching my throat upon it's fluent descent. I made a face at the bitter after taste.

"Pfft! Amateur," Amber scoffed, chuckling as she took the glass away from my hand. I laughed my first genuine laugh that day. "_See_? I _told_ you! We're going to get you back to your old self in no time." I gave her a small smile and leaned back on her headboard.

"I just hate feeling so crappy. I know I should just accept the fact that they're together. There's no other way around it."

"And you can't keep blaming yourself for every little thing that goes wrong either," Amber said insistently. "I know I've only known you for however long now. But I know that you're strong. I know you can deal with this shit. The whole deal you have with Byron is definitely a little screwed up right now. But if you _know_ and believe with your heart that you're meant to be... then you will be. This is just another phase in your fucked up relationship."

"Yeah, it _is_ kinda fucked up, isn't it?" I snorted. Amber smiled.

"Just kinda."

_A/N: alright. the responsible writer in me wants to say that i am in no way endorsing alcohol use. you sure got that? okay, back to normal now - i feel great for updating so soon, just for myself even, because i've been getting more and more excited to write because this is the part in the story that i've been looking forward to. i know everyone really likes the sweetness and pleasantry reminiscent of ICS&CC, but i really wanted to challenge myself with this sequel. i won't go into much more detail than that. i just really hope you all still stick with me through this. your feedback is more than welcome! read and review please:)_

_Bewilderment: grrr..i "smirk" at you for making that comment. LOL. yeah, i tend to overuse words sometimes. like "smirk", "sheepishly" and a couple more here and there. ;) i'll try to expand my vocabulary... although, i think i've already exhausted the Thesaurus option on Word.:P don't worry, i'll explain the whole Haley mess soon enough. patience, m'dear, patience! oh yeah, thanks for the book reccomendation. i'm just up to my neck in textbook reading right now (ick!) but i'll check it out whenever i can! _

_thanks to**EVERYONE** for reviewing! you guys rawk my sawks. :D_


	10. CHAPTER TEN

_A/N: sorry (yet again!) for my lack of updating. one word: mid-terms. blegh. thanks for all your reviews, guys. oh hey, please don't feel like you're obliged to read any of my author's notes. i got a comment about how drawn-out my author's notes can become (i can't help but agree. lol.), but please, just move straight on to the story and completely ignore these if you please. this is basically the only way i get to "talk" to people who read my fiction. i like to think that it makes it a bit more personal. but hey, ignore it if you want. i don't think i'm going to stop writing these any time soon. J _

_enjoy chapter ten! (excuse me for the shortness. longer chapters next time! i promise!) _

_featured song: Ashlee Simpson – Unreachable_

**CHAPTER TEN - Unreachable**

I couldn't do it. It was the lunch hour and I had to get away from the noise and discord of the cafeteria. I felt so stifled and had to get out. So I found myself sitting on the grass outside, leaning against the tall trunk of an oak tree, it's twisted branches almost bare. It was fall, the days were getting colder and shorter. The solitude was perfect.

Fallen leaves drifted over my jeans, my unruly hair blowing in the chilly wind. I closed my eyes and escaped: the music blaring from my headphones became my haven.

I slowly opened my eyes and from a distance, I noticed Byron and Haley sitting on the Quad, their heads close together, sharing a moment that was supposed to be mine. Why was it so easy for him to look at her that way? How foolish was I to believe that I was the only one?

_You had me crawlin so bad  
__Had me heels over head  
__You got me easy, you got me easy..._

I pulled my knees up to my chin and buried my head in my arms, a silent scream resonant in my head.

_So don't make me cry  
__Cuz this love don't feel so right  
__You can't push a river  
__You can't make me fall  
__...but you can make me unreachable._

I was stirred when I felt someone tugging at my headphones, trying to take them off. I raised my head and our eyes met. Byron was crouched down in front of me. We were so close, but at the same time, we were farther than we'd ever been.

"Hi." His hand brushed my hair as he pulled back and at his touch, the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach returned.

"Hi," I muttered, taking my headphones off. I held his gaze in mine, the look in his eyes telling me that he was searching for the right things to say.

"I, uh, saw you here and wanted to say hi. I guess we haven't talked in a while." He avoided my eyes and looked down on the ground, his hand pulling roughly at the grass.

"Yeah, I guess you've been kinda busy," I sighed, pushing a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "I mean, with Haley and everything." He scratched the back of his head and looked at me cautiously.

"We-We've actually been hanging out since that night we saw her at Phantom Pizza. I mean, first it was just a few phone calls, but then - I-I guess things just happened."

"Right," I said flatly. _I guess "things just happened" between you and me, too. _"And you're happy?" I asked quietly after a few moments of silence passed. He blinked twice, taken aback by my question.

"...Yeah, I guess so."

"Good," I said, almost in a whisper and paused. "Byron, can you tell me one thing?"

"What?" His eyes were downcast, so I slowly reached over, my hand gently tilting his head upward, forcing him to look at me.

"I want you to tell me that night at the party meant nothing to you. Tell me you didn't feel anything. Tell me that you didn't want to kiss me." Byron looked into my eyes, and for once, his expression told me nothing. He reached up and grasped my wrist, gently pulling it down.

"Charlotte - I-I'm with Haley now," he said quietly, slightly subdued. My emotions betrayed me and my eyes were brimming with tears. The last thing I wanted was for him to see me broken. I wrenched my wrist from his grasp and hastily stood up.

"Charlotte," Byron sighed. "Wait -"

"Just - Just forget it, Byron. Forget everything. I think we're done here."

I quickened my step and walked away, not looking back once.

_You had me crawlin so bad  
__Had me heels over head  
__You had me easy, you had me easy._

_...Too late to go back  
__To realize what we had  
__We were already beautiful_


	11. CHAPTER ELEVEN

_A/N: feel free to hate me. i've been VERY bad with updating. but thank you to everyone who kept pushing me to write. i've posted two longer chapters just to make up for the extreme delay. a big plot is to come, so make sure to watch out for it._

_thanks again for sticking with me, despite my evil and wicked ways of making everyone wait so long. reviews would be fantastic! _

**CHAPTER ELEVEN - Masquerade**

The engine hummed quietly and I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the Hoobastank tune playing on my car stereo. I was parked in front of Walgreen's as Amber was inside, purchasing a box of red hair dye. Needing much distraction, I was staying the night and we were going to hang-out and probably consume tons of junk food. Feeling so distant from my friends, I was happy to at least feel somewhat connected to someone who could actually still stand being around me and my mopey self.

I let out a deep breath and leaned back on my seat. _Hurry up, Amber_, I thought, getting impatient. I gasped and clutched my hand to my chest as someone loudly tapped the window next to me. I looked up and saw Haley, grinning and waving. She was in her work uniform, her blonde hair tied neatly in a bun. I suppressed a grimace and rolled down the window.

"Hi," I said, practically gritting my teeth, but still hoping my apprehension didn't show through. "Heading off to work?" The restaurant was just a few stores away.

"Actually just got off," she replied, still smiling, unperturbed. "I'm waiting for Byron to pick me up." His name from her lips made my heart ache. "Are you waiting for someone?" She looked towards the pharmacy.

"Amber," I replied curtly. Haley flashed me an anxious look, but her smile didn't falter.

"Cool.." she trailed off, nodding. Our awkward silence was filled by the music and I cleared my throat, extremely grateful as I saw Amber head out through the doors, plastic bag in hand. She gave Haley a wary look but nodded in greeting as she slipped into the seat next to me.

"See you guys later," Haley said, stepping away from the car. She raised her hand to wave and I said good-bye as I pulled out of the parking spot.

"So, that's the girl who stole Byron?" Amber asked, turning around in her seat to look back at Haley. I stared at Haley in my rearview mirror and actually found myself feeling guilty.

"She didn't _steal_ him, Amber," I sighed. "I wasn't with him, so it doesn't count. She probably didn't even know anything happened between me and Byron." I took my eyes off her and concentrated on the road.

"Well, if you don't hate her, can I still despise her for your benefit?" Amber asked smugly.

"Oh, _trust_ me," I replied, smirking. "I have enough bitterness in me for the both of us."

-

I made a face as I dropped the pair of gooey plastic gloves in the trash: a gleam of scarlet red, much like blood, in the white bin. Dismal thoughts would pop into my head out of nowhere and it was starting to scare me. I didn't like who I was becoming.

Amber snapped me out of my thoughts. "Hey, air head!" she called out. "Can you pass me the box, please?"

"First you insult me and then have the_ nerve_ to ask for a favour?" I asked in mock offence. "I'm so glad I have _such_ a good friend like you." I tossed her the box and she smiled brightly.

"I tend to have that effect on people," she said simply. I playfully pushed her and walked out of the adjoining bathroom and into her room where I picked up the latest Teen Vogue and started flipping through it.

"Can you get me another face towel, _si'l vous plait_?" Amber loudly called out from the bathroom. I rolled my eyes, smiling as I walked over to her bureau drawer.

"Which one?" I yelled back.

"The second from the –" A rush of water drowned out the rest of her sentence. I shrugged and pulled open the second drawer from the top, rummaging through the clothes. I pulled my hand back when I felt my bracelet getting caught on something.

"Shit." I took my hand out completely from the drawer and realized that it had snagged onto a tiny Ziploc bag. "What the – " I furrowed my eyebrows and looked closer. What I found completely shocked me.

Inside were three joints and a small bag of weed.

"Hey Char, what's taking – " Amber stepped out of the bathroom and stopped mid-sentence as she saw me holding the bag in my hands. She rushed over and ripped it from my hands. "What the fuck?" she cried. "Why the hell are you going through my stuff?"

"I-I thought," I sputtered, still bewildered. "I thought you said second from the top. I didn't mean to..." Amber looked at me warily.

"Look," she sighed. "Don't think I'm like some druggie okay? The last thing I need is for _that_ to be going around school. Not again."

"Again?" I asked, flustered. It was like this completely different person was standing in front of me. I felt like I knew nothing about her.

Amber closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. She severed any eye contact for the next five minutes as she rambled on her confession.

"I-I was the reason my family moved to Stoneybrook," she started. "We lived in Minneapolis and my parents wanted to move to a quaint little town in Connecticut to help me... adjust. I had – problems back where we lived. I was pretty much a good kid til about ninth grade when I started hanging out with the wrong crowd just to be cool.

I started drinking, partying, doing all kinds of crap. I ran away from home a couple of times and my parents finally decided they'd had enough. They sent me to this detention facility to go through drug treatment and just to basically change who I was. The thing is -- I didn't like who I was either. I tried so hard to change and I think I actually did. I feel totally different now. Happier, I think. It's just... old habits are hard to break, y'know? Not like I do this shit every day. Just when... times are low." She finally looked into my eyes and gave me a strained smile.

"So you totally hate me for lying to you, huh? I just wanted everyone to know the _new_ me and not the screwed up kid back in Minnesota. I'm sorry for lying. I know I would've told you anyway... just not so soon. You're my best friend here, Char. I'd hate it if you walked out on me, but I think I'd understand."

I let out a shaky breath, searching for what to say. "Is there anything else?" I asked quietly. Amber anxiously bit the bottom of her lip.

"Yeah. I have three nipples."

"_What_!" I sputtered, choking on a laugh. A grin tugged at the corner of her mouth and she looked at me helplessly.

"I thought I'd lighten up the conversation?" she said uncertainly. I gave her a half smile and moved to give her a hug, wet hair and all. She pulled back and looked at me anxiously.

"You surprise me."

"Well, I get it," I said matter-of-factly. "Everyone hides the darkest part of themselves, hoping that it'll somehow disappear. I stand guilty of that myself. It's just... _weird_ because you've always seemed so sure of yourself, always so confident and happy. But there's no way I'm turning my back on you when you've been there for me through everything." Amber let out an audible sigh of relief. "Just... no more secrets, okay? And you gotta stop doing that crap." I nodded my head to the baggy in her hand.

"I'm guessing you've never tried?" I raised my eyebrow and shook my head slowly. "Like I said, I don't do this shit every day. I'm _trying_ to stop, okay?"

I shrugged. "Whatever. Just try harder then." Amber made a face as I grabbed the small Ziploc bag from her and stuffed it into the back pocket of my jeans. "No temptation."

"Oh, God," Amber groaned. "You sound like my mom." I laughed and draped my arm over her shoulder while we walked back to the bathroom.

"We only care so much about you, dearie," I teased, pinching her cheek.


	12. CHAPTER TWELVE

**CHAPTER TWELVE - Gallows of Heartache**

_Well, this is fun_. The bitter thought passed as I propped my elbow up on the table and with the other hand, swirled an almost empty cup of fruit punch, hypnotized by the motion. _You're pathetic_. I let out a sigh and looked up at the dance floor.

Intermingled within the crowd, I saw all my friends, all swaying to the same tune, all being held close by a significant other. Even Amber was resting her head on Nicky's shoulders.

They'd all deserted me.

I slumped over in my chair, feeling not so pretty anymore. I'd spent the whole afternoon getting ready for the Homecoming Dance with the girls and the night came down to this: solitude.

Solitude wrapped in a splendid blue dress.

I wanted to go home.

I pulled the sheer wrap tighter around me as I stood up to leave.

"Charlotte!" Someone yelled out. I turned and was blinded by a bright flash of light. It took me a few moments before I could get my bearings straight.

"Simon!" I said through gritted teeth, once I realized who the crook was. A grinning Simon Jacobson lovingly hugged the camera in his hands.

"Just doing my job, Char," he replied. "Besides, you get last pick anyway. You don't even have to use it in the yearbook. Although, I may just keep my own copy and post it all over the Internet." His grin grew wider as I made a face.

"Very funny, Simon," I said, my voice thick with sarcasm.

"Ooooh, touchy," he teased. "Not having much fun tonight?"

"Just not with you."

I turned around at the sound of the voice that took the words out of my mouth. I hadn't noticed, but Byron was standing behind me. I'd seen him earlier that night, but hadn't really talk to him.

"Char, you promised me a dance, remember?" he said, ignoring Simon and looking down at me.

I tilted my head, looking at him inquiringly. He shot me a look and winked.

"Ohhh... _Rrright_," I replied, getting the point. "Yeahhh, I remember now. I almost forgot." I smiled and turned back to Simon.

"It's been a pleasure, Jacobson, but as you can see, my dance partner has been waiting." I took Byron by the arm and led him out onto the dance floor.

We made our way through the crowd and by the time we were out of Simon's sight, I turned to Byron.

"Thank you for saving me," I said gratefully, with a small laugh. "That kid is freakin annoying. Ten times worse when he has a camera in his hand." I exaggerated a grimace. "But hey, I'll see you later, okay?"

"Hey, wait a sec..." He pulled my elbow gently as I motioned to turn away. I looked up at him, confused. "You're not going to dance with me?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Uhh.. wouldn't that be a bit... _weird_?" I asked slowly.

"Why so?"

"Because..." I stopped when I spotted the goofy grin on his face. _Leave it to a guy to easily play off something I've been obsessing about for the past two months..._

I smiled wryly and shrugged.

_Find me here  
Speak to me  
...I want to feel you  
...I need to hear you_

The grin on Byron's face softened as he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me closer.

_You are the light  
That's leading me  
To the place, where I find peace... again._

Each step was breaking my heart. Each strum of the guitar was a reminder of what I had... and what I let go.

_You calm the storms, and you give me rest.  
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall._

_You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.  
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?  
_

Our eyes locked and he reached up to gently trace my jawline with the back of his hand. I closed my eyes and savoured his touch.

_How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
...Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

I still loved him.

_Cause you're all I want, You're all I need  
You're everything, everything._

_You're all I want your all I need  
You're everything_

_...Everything._

I blinked back the tears burning my eyes.

"Don't cry," Byron said, his voice barely above a whisper. I stared at him through my tears. He blinked twice as he looked down at my bare shoulder, making me shiver as he ran his hand slowly down my arm. His gaze met mine again and it's when he leans in closer to softly brush his lips against mine.

I pulled back hastily, confused because this was the one thing I'd hope would happen that night.

"Don't," I whispered firmly, after a moment passed. I slowly shook my head. "I-I can't let you do this to me." I pushed him back and covered my mouth with my hand, choking back a cry as I pushed through the crowd.

_How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?  
...Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

Questions jumbled up in my head. It was chaotic. I was confused.

I didn't have any of the answers.

I don't think I ever did.

_A/N: anyone notice a trend here? i OBVIOUSLY like to use lyrics in my fanfic. J that's when my muse emerges. lyrics from this chapter courtesy of Lifehouse. reviews! reviews! i miss getting them! indulge me!_


	13. CHAPTER THIRTEEN

_A/N: i completely suck at keeping promises. especially one's that have to do with updating more often. so here's not one.. not two.. but THREE chapters for everyone who's stuck around and still manages to bear with me. don't fret, i'm still around! better late than never...? haha. nonetheless, i hope it's enough of a consolation that i have come back (...with a vengeance?). anyway, i miss getting reviews... so gimme one, why don't you? J_

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN - Fall To Pieces**

My bare feet hit the cold pavement as I climbed out of the front seat of my car. I lifted the skirt of my dress, swinging the pair of high-heeled sandals in my hand as I walked to the front door.

I'd spent the last half hour in the parking lot, the torrent of tears bringing me no comfort. I'd managed to get myself together to drive home from the dance. I just wanted to collapse, fall asleep... and never wake up again.

Not to this.

I turned the door knob, blinking as my eyes got used to the bright house. It was late. I didn't think anyone else would be up. My confusion increased tenfold when I saw suitcases in the foyer. _What's going on?_ Apprehensive, I walked into the house, past the living room.

"Mom? Dad?" They were sitting across the dining room table from each other. I could somehow physically feel the tension. It was suffocating. Nothing could have prepared me for this moment.

Time was a blur. I stood in the wide doorway of the room, leaning against the frame, seeking the support I desperately needed as they told me their news.

_We've been trying to work things out... Too many arguments... We feel that this is the best... None of this is your fault.. We still love you no matter what, remember that..._

_...Charlotte, we're getting a divorce._

I felt light-headed, like the breath had been knocked out of me. I opened my mouth to speak, but only a strangled noise came out. I didn't know what to say.. what to do... what to _feel_.

So I stood, rooted in my spot as Dad came over to kiss my forehead and tell me good-bye. I remember grabbing desperately onto his arm, pleading for him to stay, my voice barely above a whisper. With tears in his eyes, he slowly shook head.

"Good-bye," he said.

And that was it.

He left. She drove him away.

My life shattered in a matter of minutes.

...How could my life change so drastically with so few words said?

I didn't shed a single tear that night as I lay in bed. The numbness was overwhelming. I was paralyzed. It was like there was this huge gaping hole in the middle of my chest where my heart used to be.

I was empty and devoid of feeling. Loathsome fate had won. And I accepted defeat.


	14. CHAPTER FOURTEEN

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN - Just Adding To The Noise**

I stood on tiptoes as I walked around my room, the floor covered with scattered photos from the Homecoming Dance.

"Nice organizational skills," Byron quipped, leaning back on the swivel chair in front of my computer. He stuck a pencil behind his ear as he picked a photo up from the carpet. "So, Amber and Nicky? Who knew, huh?"

I shrugged as I looked over at the picture he was holding up. "A brief fling, my sources tell me."

"Define brief," he replied. "She was over at our house yesterday on the pretence of hanging out with Vanessa. Then she proceeded to spend goodness knows how long behind closed doors in Nicky's room." I wrinkled my nose, making a face.

"Gross." _So she lied to me._

"Damn right it's gross," Byron chuckled, shaking his head. "I mean, _Nicky_? Of all people..."

I flashed him a disdained smile. "Dude, not like you're the perfect catch, either," I teased. "Better watch it or you head might explode, ruining all these photos." I shuffled through a short stack in my hands.

"You don't have to worry the slightest bit," he replied, sticking the picture in the scanner. "I play Mr. Modesty pretty well. And anyway, the greatness that is Byron Pike is unquestionable, so I won't bore you with the details." I rolled my eyes, even though I knew he was joking.

"Thank you, oh gracious one," I replied in a dull tone.

Byron let out a low chuckle. Afterwards pausing for a moment, clearing his throat.

"So... are we going to talk about it?" he asked so quietly that I barely heard him over the sound of the whirring scanner.

"Talk about what?" I murmured, although I knew perfectly well what he meant. I squatted in front of the computer, clicking away with the mouse, my full attention on the screen. Byron slowly raised a hand, placing it over mine. That broke my concentration and I sharply withdrew. He looked taken aback at my reaction.

"I -- didn't want to bring it up considering all the other shit you must be going through right now." He looked at me uncertainly, but then quickly averted his eyes. "I mean – All this stuff with your parents. It must be really..."

"Don't begin to assume you know what I'm going through," I said sharply. "Because you don't." He looked at me again, this time our eyes meeting.

"...But I want to," he replied softly, his eyes almost pleading with me. "You... You don't talk to anyone, Char. Not like before. We know it must be killing you inside but you haven't trusted any of us enough to help you get through this. Not Becca, Van, Amber -- or me." After this, I just gave him a blank stare.

"How can I trust you?" I asked pointedly, though never raising my voice. I was done playing his games. "You've toyed with my emotions... you've hurt me too many times over. I hate myself for letting you do that to me. Especially – Especially when I know I'm stupid enough to still be in love with you."

Catching me off-guard, Byron lurched forward, capturing my mouth in his, kissing me with fervour. Surprising myself, I found that I was kissing him back with matched intensity.

I didn't know what I was doing, but at the same time, it felt so... right.

I needed this. I needed to feel again, past anger, past hurt.

I needed this and I didn't care for the cost.

He pulled back after a moment and leaned his forehead on mine, catching his breath.

"You don't understand, do you?" His eyes searched mine. "All this time, I've I wanted to forget you. To push you in the back of my mind. To forget what it felt like when I was with you. But I'm tired. I'm tired of running away from the one thing I know is right in my life... You, Charlotte. It's always been you."

It was peculiar, but I didn't care if he was lying or telling me the truth. At that moment in my life, I wanted to feel something different. I wanted to be taken away from the mess surrounding me, from the numbness that I knew was slowly beginning to smother me.

I wanted to get lost.

I wanted to lose myself in him.


	15. CHAPTER FIFTEEN

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN - You're My Mistake To Make**

The streetlights flickered in the dark as I peered out the window of my room, letting the curtain drop. The sun had set, signalling the end of another day. It was usually one of those moments that went unnoticed, lost in the scope of the mundane. Not that day, though. That day it signalled change. I was... different. And it was because of him.

I leaned against my bureau drawer, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, pulling the white blanket that's wrapped around me closer. I traced the edges of the picture I was holding in my hands.

A snapshot, a moment in time captured on film. It was me and him. He was holding me in his arms. There was the same tenderness that night as there was here now.

I looked up and smiled as Byron walked out of the adjoining bathroom in his boxer briefs. He walked over to me, running his hand through my locks as he bent his head to kiss me softly.

Even after sharing the deepest part of each other, it was amazing how one kiss still sent me reeling. _I love you_. I don't know if I said it or if it was just a passing thought.

It was the truth. That was all that mattered.

_A/N : i've chosen not to increase the rating of this story but instead leave it to your own discretion. i have written the beginning of this chapter, but will send it only to those who request it. (yes, i am taking a line out of **atalanta's apple**'s book) so, if you're looking for raunchy lemons, leave me your e-mail address in the review's section. be kind! it's my first attempt!_


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